At the ripe old age of 31, I should have no qualms with kissing my youthhood good-bye, which I've effectively done by finding myself with-child. And actually, I'm quite OK with it. When you get married, you have to grow up a little bit. You buy things, like a house, and life gets more expensive. You go to work instead of to school, and that kinda sucks. You're half of a partnership which takes a lot of work, but it's mostly all fun and games.
But once you have a kid, your world really turns upside down. Your dreams of hiking Machu Picchu or doing another tour around Europe go down the drain, at least for a long time. You don't just go wherever you want, whenever you want anymore. Because you have another, better adventure on the horizon. I've spent a little time thinking about this and reflecting on what I'd done before reaching this point, and I feel really good about it.
My life's goal after high school was to extend my time as a young person for as long as possible. So I went to college, but that was a no-brainer because everyone else did the same thing. We ate bad and drank a lot and generally just had a lot of fun. Then I went to four more years of school, not because I so badly wanted to land any particular career, but because I wanted to push off said career for another long stretch of time. My main goal in pursuing further education was to hang out (or cause trouble) with friends, eat lots of fast food and drink lots of soda, over-indulge in alcohol, and generally not care about anyone but myself and doing whatever I wanted to do. And also study, but just a little. When I think about how I spent my days up to age 26, I'd have to declare that the mission of my youth was most definitely accomplished.
During this time, I also had stretches away from school, and I took those opportunities to tour Europe with my high school friends in 2000 for a few weeks, and then again in 2004 for a month with just Steph and a backpack. In 2006 four of us girls took three weeks to check out Australia and New Zealand. Then there was that August in 2007 when Dylan and I took advantage of his flight benefits and headed out to Belize for a jungle adventure, followed by a couple nights in Atlanta before heading to Charleston and driving Cecilia the Celica cross country to Arizona. From there we caught a flight to Seattle for Max and Kristin's wedding and then rented a car and drove to the Oregon coast for a few days. By the time I got home to Arizona, I still had a week before hitting the grind again. Oh, what I'd do for another carefree month like that. It will never, ever happen again.
During my early and mid-20's I accumulated some college and post-graduate degrees of several levels, I saw a lot of things, I met a lot of interesting people, I fully embraced the culture shock of living in the South, I kept an open mind, and I said no to few opportunities. It shaped who I am today, and I have few regrets. I will never say that I didn't take advantage of my youth. The last few years as a married and working person have been less chaotic and less exciting but also really good. I really think I've had my fair share of good food, occasional vacations, great friends, and general good living during these last few years.
Now that I am where I am, I really think that being a grown-up is better than all that came before it. I'm so happy that I can look back and really feel like I did all that I wanted to do while I had nothing tying me down because now I'm only looking ahead. Life as I know it will change forever soon enough, but for the time being I'd like to give you the top 10 reasons why my current state of adulthood is better than what came before it.
#10: No homework. I loved learning, and I loved being in school, but it's nice to do whatever you want at night and on the weekends. I've signed up for some classes and had some homework to do from time to time over the last couple of years, but it's so much more fulfilling when it's a class of your choice with a subject matter that you truly desire to learn.
#9: Good food. In my early 20's I subsisted on a diet of nearly 100% processed and fast food. It was delicious to me, and cheap too! Now I realize that is completely disgusting, and I can actually appreciate good food. And afford it too. My liver thanks me for this.
#8: Small people. I've accumulated a bunch of nephews over the last few years, as well as children of cousins and friends. They are adorable and bring me great joy. I'm looking forward to having a small person of my own.
#7: Affording stuff. Kind of like #9, you have the freedom to desire things that are just a touch finer because you can afford them now, too. Your entire living area is not home-built IKEA furniture. Some of it is...but not all of it. Your entire wardrobe is not from Forever 21. Some of it is...but not all of it. Another example is gas money. We live really far away from anything and spend a lot of money on gas, but as Dylan says, "I'm too old and have worked for too long to ever talk about or worry about gas money."
#6: Fewer hangovers. I had the hangover of my lifetime at the company Christmas party several months ago, but before that, it had been a long time. Yes, the hangovers are more intense, but also less frequent. The drinking is done a little more responsibly. The quality of drinks is better and the need to get hammered all the time is less. But since I haven't had a drink since December 20th, I can't really call myself the authority on drinking as an adult right now.
#5: Reading and writing for pleasure. I didn't get many chances to read books for pleasure, and writing a blog was not a concept that ever occurred to me in my early 20's. But I really enjoy doing both things.
#4: Valuing time. For some reason, people think students are really busy. I wouldn't deem going to class for three hours and then studying for a little bit to exactly be a full day. Even pharmacy school was not really that hard. I spend more time at work than I ever did at school or doing homework (but I also didn't study as much as a lot of people, too.) However, I value every single second of spare time and only spend it doing things that must be done, that help myself or others, or that I truly enjoy. I don't really know what I did with all that time in my early 20's.
#3: The people. Some people take longer to grow up than others. I had lots of friends in my early 20's, did lots of crazy-fun things and got into just a touch of trouble. It was so much fun. But now it's easier to just be friends with people who are truly enriching to your life. My phone doesn't ring off the hook, and I don't have plans every single night to go out, but the people that I do surround myself with are of very high quality, and I value them very much. It's a slower pace, but a lot less consuming of my time and energy and more enriching to my life.
#2. Owning a home. It's so much better than renting anything or living in a condo. Yes, it's a lot more upkeep and much more expensive to maintain, but it's so much more comfortable. It's your home and you make it comfortable and make it yours. I constantly decorate and re-decorate my house. I love being here. Dylan can hardly get me to stop on the way home from work to pick up bananas because I love getting home as quickly as possible.
#1. No more bars. I haaaaaate going to bars late at night. Always have, always will. In college I'd fall asleep at the bar with my head propped in my hand because I didn't enjoy being there, and I just wanted to sleep. Back in my college days, people could smoke in the bar. How foul and filthy. It was loud, I only ever talked to the people that I went there with and had to shout to be heard, I hated dancing, I hated crowds, I hated chaos, I hated other people's sweat and other people in general because they were mostly creepy, and I hated being out late when I wasn't having fun. That being said, I did have some memorable nights at the bar, and college overall was an absolute blast. But now you won't find me late night anywhere but in my bed or at an occasional social gathering. In fact, the early bedtime of every night of my thirties is absolute bliss for me. Hooray for lots of rest. I'm savoring it while I can.
So while I would never encourage anybody to rush into growing up, I will say that once you get here, it's kind of nice. I probably feel that way because I had such an extended and awesome youth and my life as an adult has been blessed. Feel free to check back in in about a year. Maybe I'll have some comparing to do between what life is like before and after having a baby.
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