Complain, Complain, Complain

It's been one of those weeks where I feel like at least 10 years has been taken off my lifespan. Gavin is in a spiral of overtiredness that makes him somewhere between irritating and unbearable to be around for most of the day. The boys have both had a hacking cough at nighttime for almost a month, and it's like Gavin can't help but be wide awake at 5am. This is inconvenient when I'm trying to shower and get ready during that time and unpleasant on all the other days. His aversion to sleep, especially when he needs it the most, has been the single most confusing struggle of my past three years.

Lately, the days have left me feeling like a shell by the time the boys are down for the night. It's at this time that I usually catch up on things that I want or need to get done. These days, though, I feel so out of touch with what I even like to do with my time that I just say screw it to everything and zone out to something stupid before falling asleep early.

Parenting small children is an ambitious undertaking. I'm no hero...just about everyone does it and most even enjoy it. Some people are just more cut out for it than others. I'm the type that would rather spend a couple days a week at a job I don't even really enjoy than do this alone day after day. I am so thankful to have five full days with my kids each week but just as thankful to have two days away from this house. It can be a lonely and isolating time, especially when your partner in this endeavor is not around to commiserate with in the evenings. Life is not really any less exhausting when Dylan is around, but it is a lot less lonely. Thank goodness he will be home this afternoon. I plan to greet him with a hug and a baby monitor and then I'll tell him to take it far, far away from me while I sleep tonight. My brain is floating in a sea of mud. I just want to feel rested and normal again.

I think G will be happy to have his dad home

Our first neighborhood walk. Still a bit too warm for this, but it was nice to get out anyway

Featuring some off-roading skills

I took my team to the zoo yesterday. After Gavin had a full blown meltdown because I wouldn't let him zone out to YouTube at 6:30am, I knew I had to get them out of the house before I lost my mind. 

We spent a lot of time in the lizard/snake exhibit. Which was fine because I skipped Gs other favorites- the monkey exhibit and the Harmony Farm. I had to keep life simple, and those things sounded too complicated.

Enjoying the lego exhibit at the zoo. 

Making our first pumpkin bread of the season

My bed, Saturday morning, 5am. #somebodyrescueme

For now, it's 6:40am and Gavin is watching Toy Story. (Give me all the screens...I couldn't care less.) Graham is down for his first nap because he was ready to roar for the day with a giant poop in his diaper at 4:40 this morning, and I'll be skipping my favorite class of the week at the gym because today I just can't even. Coffee, screens, the couch, and a birthday party. That'll be our day until Dylan gets back home.

Better (or at least more interesting) news from our end coming in the weeks ahead. Stay tuned...it's not all doom and gloom around here. And for the record....because I can't NOT recognize how good I have it, I do know that I'm blessed in so many ways, this is just a season of life, blah blah blah. Seriously, I know things aren't bad at all. I couldn't be more grateful for my family's health and all the other important things. But if I don't recognize that life isn't always hunky dory all the time, then I'm not being real. And what is a person if not real?