A Second Wind

Our entire family has been revived since Gavin came alive a couple weeks ago. I can't tell you how relieved this makes me feel. If you go back to my post on his birthday, I wrote about what a terrific, fun-loving little boy he was and that I hoped that he didn't go through the terrible phase that seems to befall all 3-year-olds. And then, just like that, the terrible phase was upon us, coupled with endless illness, and I was beside myself and more unhappy about it than I was even able to realize in the moment. Every day was hard, and when Dylan would leave town, I felt like I was fighting a constant battle by myself. 

When Gavin came down with that freaky weird rash, I knew I couldn't let time continue to pass us by in this condition. Something was not right with my kid, and I was preparing my battle stance to do whatever it would take to get him better. I was not passive in that doctor's office, like I am in most situations, and the doctors were totally freaked out by his rash. We went for a blood test, gave Gavin the most gigantic bowl of ice cream I'd ever seen, and came home.

And then, just like that, it seemed he had some sort of renewed energy. Dylan and I were baffled that afternoon, after visiting the doctor, when Gavin was outside playing and laughing. I didn't get my hopes up...but now, over two weeks later, I'm still flying high over this new little person living in our house. We'll never know exactly what was going on with him for those few months. I'm sure it was multi-factorial. As long as he continues to feel good, though, it doesn't even matter. This may sound dramatic, but given the level of difference of our collective happiness from last fall/winter and now, this is the kind of thing that really makes you believe in miracles and the power of prayer.

His half-birthday has come and gone (not that he knows...we don't celebrate this), and Gavin 2.0 can be found giving me gigantic hugs from a running start and telling me that he loves me all day long. He thanks me for everything and tells me that he likes my shoes/jacket/anything. He's telling stories, using his imagination, asking a billion questions, belly laughing, and eating a lot. He has a newfound love for his brother and laughs and plays with him all the time and always gives him a kiss when he's going down to sleep. Dylan and I have taken 100 videos in the last two weeks of our two guys laughing with one another because it was previously a nonexistent thing, and our hearts are soaring. He can still be irrational because he's a 3-year-old, and weird things upset him. But then he calms back down instead of spiraling out of control. I'm the happiest I've ever been as a mom.

I'm sorry if it offends you that I let my kids crawl on the kitchen table. They love it up there...and it doesn't really bother me.

These are the moments we're seeing all the time!

After he came prancing into my room in only his undies this morning at 6am, I threw one of my sweatshirts his way. It was cold this morning!

It wasn't long before he was just in the undies again, but he insisted his feet were cold, and just his feet. What a look.

Sweet, silly, and feisty. That's this one right here.

I know this is a good phase, and we'll have rocky times again, for sure. I know this because the only things I've learned about being a parent since having my first baby are: 1) Everything is a phase, and 2) When I finally figure something out, everything changes. I will cherish every moment while it lasts, and I'll be eternally grateful for this turn of events, for happy kids, and for good health. When times get tough, I'll reflect on this time and be able to feel good that things will get back to the way they are right now.

With all the talk of Gavin in the last few weeks, I feel like I've been neglectful of Graham on the blog. He still brings just as much joy as ever. He's in a phase of always wanting to be held, which is lasting longer than I'd hoped. Feisty as can be, he gets SO angry if you take something from him or stop him from doing what he wants. He climbs on everything, and I find him in the most precarious situations all the time. He's not super easy or chill, and I'm glad he goes to bed early because I'm in need of a break by the time the sun sets. Being that he's my second and I've done this before, I'm a lot less uptight about everything. I'm sure he'll be better for it. He's the sweetest, snuggliest, smiliest little dude and makes us constantly laugh. He gives silly grins and makes silly noises just because he's a total ham. He's currently trying to decide if he's a one or two-nap-a-day kind of guy, and it's always unpredictable. We smother him in hugs and kisses all day long because it's impossible not to. I'm so excited to see the little boy that he becomes. 

We've really turned a corner around here. Now, when well-meaning people tell me to "cherish every moment" and that "it goes so fast" I can actually real-smile instead of fake-smile at them. I get it. I totally get it now. Perhaps I just needed a few challenging months to put things in perspective so that I really can cherish every single great moment in this time of life.