One Month Old...and My Survival Tactics Thus Far

Gavin had his 1-month check-up with the pediatrician today. He is growing fantastically, and everything looks great! It's always a relief to hear that your baby is doing well. He's the cutest little thing I've ever seen, but he keeps me very busy. He is awake almost all day long, and if he's not nursing, then he's usually crying. In exchange, he sleeps good at night, and I only get up with him once, usually.

This month has flown by, but somehow it also seems like it was ages ago that I was a prisoner in that hospital room. Man I've learned so much since then, and I'm about to tell you all about it. I realize as I type this that everybody's mothering style is their own, and it's different from the next person's in most cases. And that's great! Everybody should do what is best for them. I just know that I've eagerly absorbed every bit of information from experienced mothers as I've gone about this journey, and I'm excited to share what I've learned, too. Mostly just because being a mom is about the only noteworthy thing I've done for a month, so what else would I write about?

Everyone has their list of things that they could not live without for the first month, and I've got mine, too. First is the Halo Sleep Sack. G sleeps as good as can be expected at night right now. I still feel sleep-deprived, but it could be SO much worse. I realize that the powerful Palmer sleeping genes may play a part in all this, but I think the Sleep Sack deserves some credit, too.

I also swear by the Moby Wrap, or probably any wrap that holds the baby close to your body. I can walk around the house hands-free (or with one hand free, usually) for long stretches of time and do productive things while the baby rests comfortably. Also, I don't feel like I am neglecting him, as I do when I leave him in his vibrating chair. Speaking of which, I'd add a vibrating chair (or a swing) as another must-have. I have a few non-negotiable things that I accomplish every day, such as taking a shower and eating and drinking a lot, and sometimes you just have to set the baby down. I won't pretend like it calms him instantly when he is fussy or anything, but as long as he is sleepy or happy, he is fine to sit in the chair for a while. It's good for dads, too...when Dylan is on baby duty I often find G sitting in his vibrating chair while Dylan plays Xbox. Whatever works!

It's also been very convenient for the baby to sleep in a co-sleeper. We were lucky to be able to borrow one from our good friend, but I think it would have been worth the investment anyway. The baby is right next to you, so if you're paranoid like me, and your baby has awful congestion like Gavin, all you have to do is roll over and open your eyes to check on him and make sure he's doing okay during the night. And he's just an arm's reach away if he needs to be fed.

I would also stock up on books, magazines, and a queue of programs for instant streaming. Because if you're planning to breastfeed, you will be spending a LOT of time doing so. I had no idea how demanding it was. I probably would have given it up if I wouldn't have felt completely guilty doing so. I know plenty of people think that nursing the baby is the best thing about being a mom, but if I'm being honest, I'll tell you that I don't like it. Yes, I think it's awesome that my body can do this incredible thing and make the perfect food for my child, and only I can do that for him, but I'm much too impatient to enjoy it. I don't know that I feel more bonded to my baby for nursing him, but that's probably because I've approached the whole thing with the wrong attitude. And also because G is a marathon eater. He'll go for an hour and be hungry again right away. I know you're supposed to devote your everything to Baby in the first few weeks, but I just can't do any one thing, day in and day out, no matter what it is.

Plus, there's just too much information out there about nursing, and you get differing opinions when all you want is just to do the best thing for your baby. Your doctor tells you to supplement with formula...your baby's not fat enough! Everyone else tells you to not even think about putting anything other than breast milk in your baby's mouth for six months. But I've stuck with it, and Gavin has only had his mom's milk since the doctor gave us a thumbs up on his weight gain a couple weeks ago. I think the first month is probably the hardest, so hopefully it'll get easier and I'll be able to keep this up for as long as possible.

I can only say that with any amount of optimism because I came up from rock bottom of the breastfeeding blues just yesterday. Long story short, I had a plugged duct, and it was maybe the most discomfort I've ever felt. I can tell you that night was miserable for most everybody in this house, and at the time I vowed that breastfeeding was for the birds and I was totally over it. Luckily the feeling was short-lived, and as of right now, I'm not giving it up.

So there's my not-so-positive experience with breastfeeding. I don't think it is the case for most women, if you can just chill and let things go and devote all your time (and your boobs) to your baby for at least a month or more probably more, you'll do just fine. I highly recommend seeking advice from a lactation consultant because for something that's supposed to be so natural, there really is a lot to know about how to make it work for you and your child. I know a lot of expectant mothers, and I can tell you that with all the misery, I still think it's worth it, so by all means I'm not trying to scare anyone.

I'd also like to say that it's important to surround yourself with people and go on walks or do whatever you can to get out of the house. I can't imagine having any other responsibilities besides maintaining this house and the health of my baby right now, but I still need to get out of here every now and then. I'm lucky that Dylan has no problem taking G so I can be freed up to do things, but he works long hours and isn't always around. Gavin's Aunt K loves to hold him, and my mom steals every chance she can to take the baby, so I'm fortunate to be surrounded by such a helpful family, and I love that Gavin is getting love and snuggles from so many people. With the complications I've experienced (the bum leg, the breastfeeding woes), this whole thing has been a little harder than it could have been, but I've managed to keep a smile on my face by keeping control of my life and staying in touch with friends and family.

I'm glad the first month is behind us. I love my tiny guy to death, but I'm excited to see him grow and learn (and eat less often and be less cranky)! I also really miss the simple things, like cooking dinner and running quick errands and shopping. When you live 45 minutes from everywhere and your baby needs you constantly, it doesn't allow for much freedom to go places or do things that take more than a few minutes, unless every second is carefully thought out. At least I can still fit in a blog post every now and then while the tiny man eats! I'm also looking forward to not looking like I'm still 5 months pregnant. For this first month, I didn't pay much attention, but now that some time has passed and the water weight is gone, I'm ready to give my body the attention it so desperately needs. Especially after seeing myself in pictures...I think my chin has fused with my neck. I'm so thankful that Gavin is a healthy little boy, and I look forward to the next month...and the next, and the next...