boondocks boulevard: Brain Fog

Because of the direction that this blog has taken in the last two months, you might be surprised to find out that I do still have a sense of what is going on in the outside world, and I am still a person with varied interests. A newborn baby is all-consuming, but sometimes I hand him off to his dad, or his grandparents, or his aunt or uncle, or a friend, not only because I know it takes a village to raise a child (is that how the saying goes?), and I want as many loving hands to touch him as possible, but because sometimes I want to be me for a moment. I am overwhelmed with the love I have for my baby, but I am also overwhelmed with how badly I want to do other things sometimes.

Dylan took some contract work to pick up the slack for others of us in this household who have taken an extended time off work, so he was gone for the weekend. Man, did I have my hands full. I wouldn't call Gavin a colicky baby by any stretch of the imagination, but he is definitely on the needy side of the spectrum, and he doesn't really nap much during the day. So when he allowed me to set him down long enough to make this beautiful sandwich, I took a picture of it. Then I realized that if I actually did anything with a picture of a sandwich, like post it to Instagram, then I would have officially earned my Mom That Doesn't Get Out Much Card. I really love being a mom, but I really want to stay a member of the Person With Varied Interests Club, too. Is that possible?

Disclaimer: The purpose of posting this picture is to illustrate the above paragraph. Not to show my excitement about the sandwich that I made while my baby sat quietly in his vibrating seat for two minutes.

Popular belief would say yes...kind of. I've read endless articles on women "wanting it all" these days and how it's really hard to be a mom, and also a career person, and also someone who takes good care of their house, and also someone with friends and hobbies, etc. etc. But that it can be done if you run yourself ragged. I'm not interested in running myself ragged. Because that is awful. And it probably ages you beyond your years. But I do think it's possible to carve out some time for yourself, especially as babies and kids get a little older, and that you can have as much or as little as you want, depending on your chosen pace for life.

On a side note, I went into work for less than an hour last week to help with one simple task, and it was then that I realized the fog that had descended on my brain. And it made me scared. I haven't been at work in two months, and I've done little to exercise the noodle in my noggin in that time. I'm not a puzzle or game person, and I haven't had time to pick up a book. To be fair, I am more sleep-deprived than I've ever been, which is probably a factor...but there's not much I can do about that. So, though I've taken the time to do a few things for me since the baby's been born, I got really nervous that I'd lost my brainpower and my ability to relate to the outside world.

I've only just begun to see the glimmer of a light of hope that I will get the tiniest piece of my old life back as Baby G grows out of the newborn stage. I have big plans to tap into my creative side...and get back into shape...and socialize and get out more...and challenge my brain. Yes, this time is all about the baby, and I've done a good job of putting my selfish ways aside for now. However, soon I can be a baby-obsessed mom (a task I've already conquered) and also a mom who makes time for other things...and maintains a sharp brain.

To be fair, and also to keep up with the goings-on in my life, I'll tell you about some other things that have gone on outside of nursing, changing, rocking, holding, and burping the baby and also sucking man-size boogers out of the tiniest nostrils with a Nose Frida. Because we actually have left the house a time or two. I met Kris, Kendall, and Kaylee at the park last week. I missed them so much! They spoiled G and I rotten with cookies and AJ's iced tea and a huge turtle balloon. I also took a trip to Shawn and Elaine's house with Kristin to check out new baby Luke. He is downright adorable. G and Luke are going to spend their days tearing around the desert causing trouble, I'm sure. We also went out to celebrate Luna's 4th birthday party with the gang, and yesterday my mom and I had fun doing a photo shoot with the baby. G and I also took off on a walk with my brother and the boys and all the dogs yesterday morning. It was a little chaotic but downright hilarious. And I am looking forward to a few more adventures this week. So it's slow going...but we are escaping the confines of this house a little more all the time. And it feels so good!