Adventures in Potty Training

I hesitated to even mention anything about it in case it ended up being a complete disastrous failure, but I'm not going down without a valiant effort, and so here we are in the thick of potty training. When we ended up with a big hole in our schedule due to Gavin's surgery being cancelled (with a reschedule still TBD), I figured there was no better time than the present to "throw away the diapers," as I'd been promising Gavin I'd do for a while. And I have to tell you, I have never been more impressed and proud of him than I was on that first afternoon. G and I hit swim class and then the gym on Wednesday, and after he napped we began our journey. It started out rough but quickly took off in the right direction, and Gavin was so excited to be using the potty. He would say to Graham, "Look Graham, Big Brother Gavin is pooping on the potty."

I had talked to a few people and also read a really hard core book on potty training, and from that I developed my own method based on what Gavin would allow. I was going to go the naked route, but he wouldn't have it, and there's no way he'd pee on the potty if he was melting down about being naked. So we did undies right off the bat. Dylan's been working hard, and I have another little human that needs to eat and sleep and do stuff, which means I can't keep my eyes glued to Gavin at all times as the book insisted I do. Accidents have happened, and we didn't get off to an awesome start today. I currently have a washing machine full of clothes covered in human excrement. But all in all it hasn't been too bad.

I had been dreading potty training for months. Gavin was stuck in a baby phase, and still he revisits it from time to time, so I figured potty training was not a bridge worth crossing for a while. I thought that when the time finally came, whenever that happened to be, that it would be awful and disastrous. Up to this point, I've watched Gavin learn and grow and do amazing things, but this would be the first thing I'd have to directly teach him to do. He's a force of nature and incredibly strong-willed and stubborn. I was scared and so I put off the inevitable for a very long time.

I'm sure we're bound to hit a rough patch or two, and as I told Dylan, the first part of this day was the most exhausting few hours I've ever had as a mother or a person, but I'm thankful this experience hasn't (yet) brought me to tears. Luckily, before Dylan hit the road for a long day at work the golf course, I was able to sneak out on an early morning jog to get my blood pumping. Without that, I probably would have lost my ever-loving mind today. My sneakers hit the dirt just as Gavin had peed his pants and Graham had a blow-out that went half way up his back and down to his knees. Perfecto.

Sportin' the undies

Drinking smoothies and keeping the mood light.

Sitting on my brand new throw blanket in his undies. I was nervous.

This goofball has changed my heart and brain and everything I know about this world.

I'll be very glad to come out on the other end of this journey, but I think Gavin and I will both experience a lot of personal growth because of it. In fact, Gavin has transformed me as a person a little bit every day, ever since he entered this world. We've slogged through a lot of s#!& together. Those early months with him (or let's be honest, that entire first year and beyond) were some of the loneliest and most isolating times of my entire life, and it's no secret that G did not take things easy on me. I probably had some form of post-partum anxiety that may have been worthy of consultation by a professional, but that's all behind me now. It was a rough initiation into motherhood for me, but we've both come so far in the last couple of years. Gavin can still drive me crazy and does so on most days, but I feel especially endeared to him because of the path we've been on together.

When I was at ASU and wanted to be a psychology major for a half second (as 19-year-old girls tend to do), I took some class that taught me that when you work really hard for something, or otherwise experience hardship on your way to achieving a goal, that you end up being very, very loyal to your achievement. It's why fraternities put pledges through such a tough and awful initiation. Because once it's done, then the guys are all hard core loyal to the frat. Anyway, I think that partially explains the dynamic between Gavin and me because I love that kid something fierce.

I'm a lot less mental with Graham than I was with Gavin, but it's not to say that we haven't had a few hard times. Graham had a really rough start with fussiness. We also had our fair share of breastfeeding problems. (And for the record, breastfeeding is still not really my jam, but it's tolerable and no more a pain in the butt than bottle feeding would be at this point, I think.) He still hasn't allowed me to sleep for more than 2.5 hours at a time for weeks, not to mention his delivery into this world was safe and beautiful but also traumatic. Like, it left me with petechiae on my face and Beau's lines on my fingernails. If you don't know what those things are, then you probably don't care...but it was legit traumatic. So, I do have a few things to put into The Bank of Hard Times with Graham to solidify a foundation for our bond. But this baby, man, he smiles at me 100 times a day and melts my heart just as often, and it's just an incredibly different experience than I had with Gavin.

My sweet, sweet baby.

Can't get enough!

But I digress. Big time. I have no idea how I got from there to here. I have a few more days of this journey ahead of me before I turn Gavin loose at Dawn's on Tuesday. I'm not sure what's in store in terms of public outings, and Dylan leaves town soon, so don't know what the weekend will bring. But, I'm sure it won't be my most favorite weekend ever. Anyway, it's my bedtime, and here I leave you with a bunch of jumbled words on motherhood and life and me and my kids and pee and poo. Keep your fingers crossed for Gavin and me that we can really keep diapers a thing of the past after the next few days and that I don't come completely unglued in the meantime.