It's Not Easy, But It's Not That Hard

I am so lucky to have heard the honest stories of a bunch of moms who came before me. The sleep deprivation, the demanding, crying baby. It seemed so difficult and so exhausting, especially as a childless person. It's like when you hear that a movie is SO good that you have it all built up in your mind and then you're kind of let down once you go to see it. Except opposite. I expected the newborn phase to be pretty miserable, and I thought I would not be very good at dealing with it. But I think once you have a baby your instinct kicks in and makes it all okay. Which is what they told me...I just found it hard to believe.

Mornings with dad

Afternoon walk. Mama needs out of this house!

 Sure, my day's schedule is entirely up to the little man, and he demands almost all of my attention. But I've felt more confined by previous school or job situations, and I didn't love those things as much as I love Baby G. Yesterday I was alone with the baby while Dylan was at work from sun up to sun down, and somehow I still managed to shower, get plenty to eat and drink, vacuum and steam clean, snuggle with the baby a lot, go for a walk, and run a few errands.

I am extremely tired. Especially given the modified feeding routine that we must endure in the middle of the night (or twice nightly, usually). Nurse, then feed the baby a supplemental bottle, somewhere in there fit in a diaper change, rock him back to sleep, then pump for the next supplemental bottle, then wash all the pumping stuff. It involves a lot of lost sleep. But I've been tired my whole life, so this isn't new.

Just being cute

G's belly button fell off and now he's in cloth diapers!

It gets easier every day. Especially now that my mobility is slowly creeping back and I have the freedom to drive. I've gotten the hang of the carseat and stroller for the most part, and I have more and more confidence in getting out with the baby all the time. Dylan is working six of eight looooong days in a row, but he had the day off today, and we hit every corner of town...seven destinations in all. It involved a lot of planning, but we figured out how to get it all done and feed the baby in a timely fashion and also keep him as unexposed to people as possible.

I suppose we still have a lot of time for Gavin to become colicky or cranky or all-around difficult. That's not to say we haven't dealt with the inconsolable crying almost every day, especially at night. But I know it can be worse. It's possible that I may check back in a couple months and tell you that this is the hardest thing I've ever done. But I hope I don't have to do that. So far, G is a champion eater, sleeper, and poop and pee-maker. He keeps all his food down, and he's just awesome.

A new little one on the scene

Apple of my eye

G just chillin while mom and dad take a beer break on the patio

I can't quite yet say that I hardly remember what it was like before I had a baby. I remember filling my days with outings to the gym, lots of cooking and shopping, meeting friends for dinner, and whatever I wanted. I also looked more presentable. But as time goes by, I'm adjusting to the new normal, and being a mom really is pretty cool. Truth be told, though, I am already starting to get cabin fever. I can say this even after spending the majority of the day outside the home today. I can see how I'll definitely be ready to go back to work in a couple months, especially after stopping by the pharmacy for a few brief minutes to show off the little man today. Before the baby came, I thought that there was no way would I feel this way, even though I fully planned on returning to work after spending some time with the babe. Others with experience told me I'd be glad to have a part-time job even though I found that hard to believe, and so my logical side won over my emotional side. I'm glad it did. As long as the boy has somewhere safe to go when I get back to work, I'm sure I'll be glad to have the grown-up time and get out of the house. And maybe fit in a trip to the gym every now and then, too. Goodness knows I need it...